Greetings from Conference-Land!	January 22, 2006

It’s Sunday night, and I’m happily holed up in my hotel room in San Antonio. Today was my last day at the conference, and the weather is all sorts of gloomy, so I’m electing to stay in, watch the game (well, flip back and forth between the game and Thelma and Louise on the Country Music Channel, ‘cause I don’t really care who wins tonight, ‘cause alls I care about is that the Steelers kicked ass this afternoon), order room service and graze the mini-bar.

This conference has been really fun – I’ve gone to some really interesting meetings, where I’ve met interesting people and learned a lot. I’ve enjoyed running around with my coworkers, getting to know this teeny little pocket of the city. We’ve been to a lot of excellent bars and restaurants, did some shopping, and visited the Alamo. I’m returning with a suitcase stuffed full of crap I picked up at the exhibition hall (gotta love crap!) – all in all, it’s been a great time. The hotel that we’re all staying in is really swanky – the spiffiest I’ve ever stayed in by a long shot. All that said... I wanna go home!

I have grown quite tired of sleeping in a hotel bed, eating food from mini-fridges and concession stands, carrying around giant tote bags full of crap, flashing my badge and making nice with strangers. Sometimes, you just wanna end your day sprawled out on your own couch in your own living room and drinking coffee out of your own mug and watching TV in your own time zone. Now I know full well that 6 days away from home is hardly anything to freak out about, but I am really really looking forward to coming home nonetheless.

I can count on one hand the number I times I’ve had the opportunity to travel for work in my life – it certainly hasn’t been so many that I should be worn out on it already. But I am thinking that the next time my boss asks, “Who wants to go to xxx?” I may not be so eager to raise my hand (unless she’s asking about going to Boston in May, which I totally wanna do!)

Yee Haw!	January 16, 2006

So, as I have blogged, I am working like a madwoman lately. Today is MLK Day, and I am not supposed to be at work, but I am, because I have so much that I need to get done (yet, I will take 15 minutes to write a blog entry, since <in my best Dante whine>, “I’m not even supposed to be here today”).

Why am I so freaking busy, you might ask? Largely because I am getting on a plane this Wednesday and heading to San Antonio for a conference, and while I am there, I’ll be somewhat unable to get any other work done. I am pretty damn excited though – I have never been to Texas, and I’ve always wanted to go, and even though I am going for work, I’ll be staying in a swanky part of town and livin’ it up cowboy-style (or something).

I am looking forward to the food. And people who talk funny. And I do truly hope to get to see the Alamo, but I am not sure if my schedule will allow for that. I have promised Steve that I will whip out my cell phone at some point while down there and scream out, “The stars at night glow big and bright…” and see if all the locals finish up for me (a la Pee Wee’s Big Adventure). I am willing to wager that they won’t but I think it is worth trying.

OK, must get back to work! I wasted most of my 15 minutes tracking down the clever Texas clip art!

Frickin’ Exhausted	January 10, 2006

My work days used to be pretty leisurely. I'd have a good workload, and it would keep me busy, but I used to have time to send a few personal e-mails, read some blogs, and so on. Since I got back from vacation, such has not been the case. When I am here, I am working like a freak, from morning until night. And this is a good thing – lots of stuff is getting done, everything is going well, and I think I’m impressing my boss with my ability to take on so much crap.

But damn, at the end of the day, I am beat. Last night, I got home, made some dinner, popped in a DVD (I used a Best Buy gift card to purchase the complete Mr. Show collection), and I was asleep before the first episode was over. There is something about the couch after dinner – I cannot stay awake on it. It’s so pathetic – I have to call my friends the next day and say, “Yeah, you know why I didn’t answer when you called at 9:00pm? I was asleep.” And then try to get me out of bed in time to make it to work at 8:00am? Fuggetaboutit!

Usually, when I am doing Weight Watchers, I have tons of energy, since I’m exercising, not eating crap, and keeping my caffeine levels from getting all insane. But the work-stress seems to be wearing away at my energy level. Suggestions?

One stellar weekend	January 9, 2006

Sometimes you get to the end of the weekend, realize you spent the whole time working or running errands, and you pout because you don’t know where it all went. Then sometimes you have a wicked awesome weekend, and when it’s over, you’re sad to have to go back to work, but fulfilled by the perfect balance of fun and relaxation that you got out of your weekend. The latter is how I felt today.

Friday after work there was a happy hour for a beloved coworker who is leaving us for greener pastures. We had a great gossip-laden happy hour and dinner, at which she was most forthcoming with details about a few of our fellow coworkers (what does she care after all – she’s outa here!). Coworker gossip rules. As does the grilled tuna appetizer at the Daily Grill.

Friday night I stayed at Steve’s, and Saturday morning we slept in and lounged around like total lazy bastards for the better part of the afternoon. This is important – no successful weekend can be without a few hours of total schmuck-time.

Saturday night started with a Redskins playoff game party. Now I have not historically been a football fan. And until now, if I was going to root for anyone, it’d have been the Steelers. But having become closely associated with a Redskins fan or two, it’s starting to rub off on me. And despite the fact that I’m annoyingly asking rookie questions throughout (“what’s the little man doing with the little flag?”), I do find myself beginning to enjoy watching the games. Scary, I know. ANYWAY, we won! Eat that, Tampa Bay.

Saturday night found me at the Laughing Lizard Lounge in Alexandria, VA, for a Red Cross benefit show featuring 4 excellent local bands (and one of the bands, Masked Marvels, happened to feature my extraordinarily talented boyfriend). It was a great night. All of the bands were great, the club was packed, we raised a lot of money, and some of my buddies traveled all the way from Silver Spring to be there (many thanks Sarah and Jesus and crew – it was great to see you)! There will be concert photos and videos posted soon – look for ‘em.

Sunday started with Steve and I semi-hungoverly (yes, that’s an adverb) making omelettes, drinking coffee, and reading the paper. After another lounge-y interlude, we got off our butts and finally went to see Brokeback Mountain at the swank-tacular new AMC theater at Tyson’s I. I also made sure to poke my head into the new Victoria’s Secret that I’ve been hearing so much about. Pardon me while I sound off on this for a second:

Dear Vickie’s:

We all know what you sell. We all know it’s sexy. Is the message, “Sexy underwear is sexy,” really one that needs to be driven home so obviously? It’d be like if McDonalds commercials featured folks licking up the mayonnaise that had dripped onto their grease-stained bags. We all know that it’s the unfettered indulgence that we’re there for. But as a consuming public, we’ve come to expect that the advertisers of America will polish up the seedier underbelly of our consumerism for us so we can feel all nice high class – especially when it’s a shiny new mall that we’re shopping at, and not a back alley porn store. I don’t really care that you’re selling sluttiness, and I’m not really offended by it, but I think alienating your middle-aged housewife market may not be the smartest move for you.

All the best,

Ellen

OK, that said… Brokeback Mountain was good. Not crazy-awesome, but I liked it a lot, and kept feeling somewhat proud of the world we live in for allowing such a movie to be shown so widely and freely.

Sunday night afforded me an opportunity to clean my kitchen a little, watch TV a little, and sort my affairs a little. All good things. Leaving me nice n’ ready for the week.

Gotta love life.

I heart the Apple Store	January 5, 2006

The Clarendon Apple Store, that is. On Tuesday night, I went to the Pentagon City Apple Store, which was crowded and hot and the folks at the Genius Bar were far too busy to help me (which is hardly their fault, but they could have been a little nicer about it). So I made an appointment at the Genius Bar in Clarendon, walked in, and walked out with a shiny new iPod within 15 minutes. I have a happy iPod again! My old one was all scratched and battered-looking, and it’s also nice to have a glossy clean new one.

I’ve had iPod trouble in the past, and the good people at the Clarendon Apple Store managed to make everything better quickly and easily. They rock. Apple folk are the best kind of folk.

2005 Searching Stats	January 4, 2006

I thought I'd follow up on my last searching stats report with the final stats for 2005 (maybe I am the only one who finds this interesting?)

• 38% are looking for me (searching onyah, onyah.com, onyah’s blog, etc.)
• 28% are looking for The L Word (searching strings of lyrics from theme song and are finding this post)
• 15% are looking for information on The Biggest Loser and finding this post
• 5% are looking for clothing (searching velvet blazer, plaid wool skirt, etc., and are finding this post)
• 5% are looking for information on Weight Watchers and finding my other blog
• and the remaining 10% are looking for totally random shit. Here are some of my favorites:
  • "Jack Black self-portrait"
  • "how much ogres weigh"
  • "Gordon Birsch butter"
  • "how many cookies santa ate already"

Here’s to a year's worth of disappointment!

My first ski	January 3, 2005

Many people have been asking how my weekend of skiing went. I had never skied before, and I was scared as hell about it. In the weeks leading up to it, I’d been asking a lot of people for skiing advice, and many responded with sentiments such as, “Ugh, it’s hard,” or “Ugh, you’ll be in a lot of pain,” or they regaled me with tales of the time they broke their arm/leg/tailbone the last time they went skiing. So I was nervous. And convinced I was going to meet my death. Well, I didn’t die, and I didn’t kill anyone else, which is good.

We went to Wintergreen, which is close to Charlottesville, VA. Myself, Steve, and seven other folks all went in on renting this big gorgeous house for the weekend. It was swank-tacular – it had a spectacular view, a hot tub on the deck, and a wood-burning fireplace that we kept a-flaming the whole time we were there.

New Year’s Eve was my ski day. We went down to the resort and signed up for a beginner’s lesson. They had a little fenced-in area where they taught us how to put on our skis, how to move, steer, stop, and pick ourselves up after falling. Fortunately, we were grouped in with some other beginners who were (almost) as uncoordinated as I, so though I felt pretty ridiculous during the lesson, I didn’t feel singularly ridiculous. By the time it was over, I was able to go down a small slope without falling, steer myself in roughly the direction I wanted to go in, and stop myself when I knew well in advance where I wanted to stop.

Unfortunately, Wintergreen does not have a bunny slope. Once you’re done with the lesson, they basically steer you toward the mountain and say, “Have at her!” Of course, by executing proper zig-zagging technique, one can go down a steep-ish mountain without ever having to really tackle any monstrous slopes. The problem there, however, is that you’re going against the flow of traffic, and it was pretty crowded. So I would stand to the side, waiting for a break in traffic, and send myself wobbly across the slope. Invariably, somewhere in there, I would see someone or something that I was likely to hit, lose confidence in my ability to stop in time, freak out and fall down. This happened repeatedly, and I was getting grumpier and grumpier (and swearing a lot)!

The good people at Wintergreen have a program called Adaptive Skiing, in which they work with children and adults with disabilities to make skiing possible – by creating special skis, or ski-like structures – that the individuals can ride in/on. As I was working my zig/zag/fall routine on down the mountain, I happened across an adaptive skier and a group of instructors. I thought I’d be able to steer myself around them. I gave it a shot, but I lost control, sliding into the group of folks, and knocking an instructor on top of the adaptive skier. This was a very low moment for me, causing me to unstrap my skis, and call it a day.

My favorite part of the weekend, however, came that night, when we went tubing. Tubing is awesome. Wintergreen has a hill called “The Plunge,” which their website describes as follows: “This 900 foot, 10-lane mega snowtubing hill fills a void for non-skiers and thrill-seekers alike. The Plunge, dubbed "the scream machine," has tubers reaching typical speeds of 25-40 mph with a vertical drop of 100 feet!” Yes. Scream Machine is right. On a few of my plunges, I rode down with Steve’s roommate and his digital camcorder – as soon as he posts them on his website I shall link you to the little mpegs of me screaming my lungs out.

But oh was it fun! You go whizzing down so fast that they have to lay out rubber mats to slow you down (which hurt pretty badly when your bum initially comes into contact with them). And they let us go down in groups, which only increases the speed (and sore bumlieness). It was very cool – I hope to get a chance to do it again.

The rest of the weekend I stayed away from all things slope-related. But, you know, sleeping late and chilling in an outdoor hot tub overlooking mountains is still not a bad way to spend a weekend.

Happy New Year!!	January 2, 2005

I’m baaack! I’ve been away from the blog-o-sphere for about two weeks, because I’ve been doing the major holiday traveling. It’s been awesome. Here is a quick and dirty bulleted list of the things that I’ve been up to:

• Sleeping late
• Drinking coffee and reading the paper
• Lounging on the couch watching DVD’s
• Drinking insane amounts of beer
• Passing out on my best friend’s porch in sub-freezing temperatures
• Losing my favorite hat (only to be reunited again later!)
• Driving down the road to visit family and friends
• Giving and receiving gifts
• Eating the season’s most delicious offerings
• Playing video games
• Shopping, shopping, and more shopping
• Sitting in the hot tub (for fun)
• Taking my first skiing lesson
• Losing control going down the mountain and plowing over whole group of skiers
• Snow-tubing! (awesome, heart-pounding, bottom-bruising fun)
• Sitting in the hot tub (to soothe my many slope-related aches and pains)
• Playing the license plate game on long car rides

Once the I get all the pictures, I’ll go into greater detail on some of these points (and pointedly ignore some others).

All in all, it was an excellent excellent holiday. Only one downside – somewhere in there I did something to offend my iPod, and now it displays the little sad iPod icon. I’m still under my warranty, and I have my receipt, and the folks at the Apple Store have never been anything but wonderful to me, so I expect it will be resolved quickly and easily, but it truly saddens me to see its pathetic little face.